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In my “Fabulous Women Over 40” series, I often meet women with incredible stories. But a dinner party a few years ago with a friend, Loan Hillsten, revealed her shocking childhood. While many see her as a vibrant and caring person, few know the secret past she carries. Her unforgettable journey to freedom that started with her escape from war-torn Vietnam is a story that deserves to be told.

A portrait of Loan Hillsten in her kitchen as she shares her story as a 1975 Vietnamese Refugee coming to America for blog series Fabulous Women Over 40

We, as Americans, are privileged to live as freely as we do. The awareness of those here from other countries is evident. Often, the media shares the struggles immigrants have endured coming to America with dreams of freedom and opportunity. I have never known anyone personally with a similar journey until I met Loan. Her past is riddled with memories of fleeing her war-ravaged homeland with her family in search of freedom in the United States.

Loan, with the maiden name of Thi Kim Pham, was born in Saigon, South Vietnam, on November 24, 1963. She is the youngest of five children, her two sisters, Le and Lan, and two brothers, Thuy and Lai. Loan’s mother, Tu Thi Trinh, was a talented cook who sold her tasty dishes at the local market. She passed away from liver cancer at the age of 43 when Loan was only 9 years old (below photo of Loan’s family before she was born). Loan remembers how wonderful her mom’s cooking was and how so many people loved buying her delightful dishes from the market.

Loan’s father, Vinh Van Pham, fought for the South in the Vietnam War from 1950-1954, and was left crippled when he lost both legs stepping on a landmine. He passed a few years ago, but for years, Loan joked about how he hid his money in his prosthetic legs.

Loan Hillsten shares a black and white family portrait for the photo blog series Fabulous Women Over 40

On the night of April 29, 1975, Loan and her family’s lives would be ripped away in an instant. The night before the “Fall of Saigon,” they were forced to flee the city. Knowing that anyone associated with the military would be killed first, she remembers hearing her brother-in-law (who was in the military) telling her dad the communists were coming to take over the city. In an effort to escape certain death from the invasion of Northern Vietnamese forces, they had only minutes to leave their home and everything they owned behind.

What followed was a terrifying dash to the pier, in a frantic fight for survival. In the dark of night, they pushed through screaming crowds of people to board a limited number of available boats. Due to her dad’s inability to walk, his wheelchair was slowing them down. He told the family to leave him behind and get on the boat, but her brother-in-law refused. Instead, he carried her father on his back to assure his family was not separated. Loan remembers the fear she felt while watching the chaos as families were being torn apart with panic.

A portrait of Loan Hillsten on her couch sharing her story as a 12 year old Vietnamese Refugee in 1975 for the photo blog series Fabulous Women Over 40

The journey at sea was a nightmare. A small boat, with 30-40 people crammed inside, had no destination, no bathroom, and little food. Women and children were kept below deck for safety reasons. Loan, at only 12 years old, was confused by what was happening and didn’t understand the reality of the situation. She remembers hearing stories from her brother-in-law of men jumping from the boat to their deaths in fear of the unknown.

When their boat arrived in the Philippines two weeks later, they were turned away. At that time, the U.S. military had stepped in and relocated them by boat to Guam. They were held on the island in tents for a couple of weeks before they were able to come to the United States. They had to shower out in the open, and Loan recalls feeling embarrassed as the young army soldiers whistled and yelled at her as she tried to cover her naked body.

Loan’s childhood is scattered with memories most 12-year-olds should never have to endure. With only the clothes they were wearing when they fled, she and her family eventually arrived in America. They were placed in a refugee camp in Fort Indiantown, Pennsylvania, called “The Gap,” or “FTIG.” The GAP accommodated Southeast Asian refugees for over 8 months in 1975. More than 32,000 Vietnamese and Cambodian refugees were resettled through the camp.

Loan Hillsten shares her ID card as Vietnamese Refugee in the U.S. at the age of 12 for the photo blog series Fabulous Women Over 40

Loan remembers the shock of seeing snow for the first time and the daily ritual of lining up and waiting for meals. There was nothing to do all day, and they were not allowed to leave the tightly secured base. After around six months, two churches sponsored her family, which was the only way anyone could leave the refugee facility. Loan and her family were finally relocated to Urbandale, Iowa.

After settling in Iowa, the kids were set up in the public school system, and their food and rent costs were covered for the first 3 months. Their new life began in a small home where ten people shared three bedrooms. Loan, speaking no English, started elementary school, trying to adapt to a new culture while still reeling from her past. Despite facing incredible hardship, Loan and her family persevered. (Below is a photo of Loan with her father.)

Loan Hillsten with her father Vinh Van Pham

In the years that followed, Loan and her family learned how to adjust to life in America. She and her siblings went on to finish college. But even after surviving and escaping a war-ravaged country, she would later face the tragic loss of two more siblings to the same liver cancer that took her mother’s life. A brother passed at 25 who was working to complete a master’s degree in engineering. And a sister, at 39, perished two years later. Knowing this disease runs in her family, Loan gets annual checkups.

Today, Loan resides in Franklin, TN, and is a Finance Manager at McKesson Corporation. Her friends know her as a resilient and loving woman who shows no outward signs of the trauma she endured. She is a friend whose delicious cooking is a testament to her mother’s memory. Her joy for life proves the power of the human spirit.

The secret past of one woman’s incredible journey to freedom shows Loan is a truly inspirational woman, and that’s why I am so honored to feature her as a Fabulous Woman Over 40.